From the view of a 20-something dream chaser.

Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Not long ago, a good friend of mine sent me a video and it really spoke to me as an unabashedly ambitious young woman who is grounded. And single. It begins, "So it seemed that it was cool for everyone to be in a relationship but me. So I took matters into my own hands and ended up with him." Umm DING DING DING! Story of MY life, as well as the lives of just about every girlfriend of mine. I didn't know where this girl was going with her spoken word, but I knew I needed to heed whatever Word she was bringing forth straight from the Lord Himself, it seemed. And at the end, my soul was truly blessed.

You see, people often ask me why I'm single. How on earth should I know? is my first thought. Then I think back on my past relationships and the many guys who just weren't "ready" for me at the time. They wanted to put me on layaway, in a sense. I also think of the good guys I let slip through my fingers because...well, I don't really know why, honestly. I just know it happened somehow. Maybe it's because good girls like bad guys... In the end, I usually tell whoever is asking that I'm just too busy--which certainly isn't a lie if you know me--but we all know we women make time for men we care about no matter what. We are the greatest multi-taskers of all time, and that's why it frustrates us when people (men) say they don't have time for us.

But I think it's all about who we attract and how much "time of day," as my parents say, we give them. In the video, the artist says, "I called 911 but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting because it was me who let him in." She's so right! When we try to take a man and make him The One, we're the ones responsible, in the end. If we aren't open and honest about our wants, needs and boundaries up front, we have no one to blame but ourselves. But this doesn't have to be.

Many women I know say they already are or are striving to become Proverbs 31 women, but I see few taking the actions necessary to become one. I decided to do just that and I implore all women to do the same. I ordered "She is...Devotional," a book of 22 daily devotionals to help women of all ages become Proverbs 31 women. Each day begins, "She is..." One of my favorites is: "She is COMPASSION. She keeps her arms outstretched to those who need help." If that doesn't sound like the perfect woman, I don't know what does. And the best part is that each day comes complete with a prayer.

Being a Proverbs 31 woman is like being a lady or being intelligent or having confidence: it isn't spoken, it's exuded. She is imperturbable. She is fearless. She is clothed in royalty. She is humble.

For me, becoming a Proverbs 31 woman is what dreams are made of. So to my future husband, "I will be the one drenched in Proverbs 31, waiting for you."

Check out the video below. It might change your life.

I Wish You Enough

Thursday, April 18, 2013

When do I sleep, you ask? Well, I don't. I can sleep when I die. That brings me to my point of inspiration for this post...

I came across a shared photo on Facebook with a story about an ailing mother and her daughter saying goodbye to one another after a visit. As the mother was very ill, she figured that would be the last moment the two of them would spend together. They said to each other, "I wish you enough," which a stranger overheard. Later in the story, the stranger would ask the mother what that meant. The mother shared the following, which had been passed down from generation to generation in their family:

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. 
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

This was such an incredible passage. A friend of mine once told me he only eats until he is satisfied, at which point he has had enough. 
A lot of times in life, we want it all, we want it now, and as a result, we become greedy. Instead, we should wish for simply enough. After all, it is enough. Adequate, efficient. 

Why do we insist on having everything we can get our hands on, instead of what will suffice. Too much of anything is no good, they say. So why do we want it all? Why isn't enough enough? It should be. Starting today, I am striving for enough.

I wish you enough. Because that's what dreams are made of.

It's About How You Make them Feel

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

In pageantry, they say when everything goes wrong you're going to win. Yet, still I had no idea I would be crowned Miss Bronx 2013 while sharing the stage with 14 other incredibly intelligent and talented young women Sunday night. Did I mention how beautiful they were? But, boy am I honored and excited for this journey to Miss New York and maybe even Miss America!

Mere seconds before walking into my interview, I was told that my paperwork was lost. You don't say, I thought. And How can I somehow make up for this? The paperwork sets up the interview and without it...I didn't even want to think about what could ensue. So I devised a plan. I walked in that room and introduced the elephant. "I know you don't have my paperwork or headshot, so you really had no concept of who I was or what I looked like until this very moment," I began, before they could utter a word. I felt it would be best to just come out with it. Otherwise, I'd risk being asked, "So tell us a little about yourself..." Bo-ring. Overdone. Seldom wows them.

"But how I look is the least of what's important in the Miss America Organization," I continued. "In this organization we are scholars, philanthropists, advocates. So what we say and do and what we give is far more important than how we look. But even those things you may forget. You will never forget how we made you feel, though. And that's what I want to do as Miss Bronx. I want to cater to each person's crave to feel important. I want to empower young people through their communication so that they will derive their self-worth off these things and not material things, like how they look..."

And that's what I learned this weekend: that I really can get through anything. My annoyingly consistent optimism really does pay off. In life, even the best laid plans don't work out exactly as you'd like them to. Things get lost, forgotten or simply changed. There is only so much that we can control. After that, we just have to let go and trust our instincts. Or trust Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." That's what I believe.

This was the third local I competed in this season, after placing first runner up in the first and making the top ten in the second. I wanted so badly to win both of the previous times, but I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now. We all are. Things happen the way they're supposed to and the sooner we realize that, the better. This isn't to say we won't suffer disappointments, because surely we will; but the reason we fall is so we can learn to pick ourselves back up. Ok, so I'm a Batman fan. You caught me. But the philosophy is brilliant, so I adopted it. And you should, too.

In pageantry, they say the pageant is won in the interview room. Of that I am not certain because this is my fourth local in the Miss America Organization, I've only won interview once and no preliminary interview award was announced at Miss Bronx. What I am certain of is I that achieved my goal. Apart from my impromptu opening statement (which is no longer an official planned portion of the interview these days), I was able to share my story with that panel, how I came to be who I am. And whether I had won the title or not, that's how I define my success: by how much of the real me I showcase in interview. And why would I want to be anyone else?

Because being Miss Bronx...that's what dreams are made of.

(P.S. I know it's been a while since I've posted and I need to update you on what else is going on in my life, so please stay tuned.)
Life is Deleesh. All rights reserved. © Maira Gall.