I'm working on becoming a better me, as I'm sure we all are and should. A blog post on what the specifics of becoming a better me entail is coming soon, so be on the lookout. In the meantime, I came across another post call 10 Things to do While Saved & Single and I really enjoyed the read. Not only that, but I took a lot from it on how to improve my life as a single Christian. Some of these things I already do; others I am willing to adopt. I thought it might bless some of you so below is the text of the post that originally appeared on NORingNOSheets. Happy reading!
(1) Do something nice for someone and tell no one.
In a world of social media, iMessage, SMS, and so many other mediums of quick and fast communication, many of us find it harmless to do “nice” things for others and post a photo or upload a tweet once we’re done. While there is nothing wrong with sharing our lives with others, sometimes our intent can turn into that of self-glorification. We must double-check ourselves and ask why exactly we are doing what we are doing. Is it for attention or a pat on the back? The only recognition we should seek as children of God is the recognition and approval of our Father. Matthew 25:40 basically tells us that we ultimately don’t do things for people, but for Him. By doing nice things for others, we are ultimately pleasing and glorifying God. Our motives and intent are the most important when it comes to good deeds. God rewards those who move in silence. So, the next time you give a homeless person money or you pay for someone’s Starbucks in the line behind you, refrain from posting it on your social network platforms.
When it comes to doing things for others, it should be done with a servant’s heart. Very much like when Jesus, both human and divine, got on His knees and washed His OWN disciples’ feet. It takes a humble individual to be able to do noble things for others. If it is written in God’s plans for you to one day be in a relationship that leads to marriage, your whole relationship should be centered on out-serving one another. Not in a competitive fashion, but one that says I love you and Jesus so much, I want to display that through my actions by seeing how I can best serve you. How we serve others should be a reflection of how we serve God. Not in a submissive fashion unto people, but a humble and respectful one.
(2) Choose a different healthy recipe every week and cook for yourself.
What we put into our bodies is almost just as important as how we treat it on the outside. Our bodies can be adorned with the finest clothing, yet our temples can be desolate. God wants us to take care of our bodies, inside and out. We wouldn’t try to drive a car without gas because we know that it is impossible to do. God forbid if you tried to put regular gas in a premium tank expecting your car to function at its highest potential. He wants us to treat our bodies even better than we do our vehicles. We must be able to function and be in good health if we are going to be serving in the Kingdom of God.
Learn to cook. That may be frightening for some of you because you’re used to eating out all of the time. Start off with something easy. One of my favorite meals to make is basil infused quinoa, steamed broccoli florets, black beans, and sweet potatoes. It may sound like a lot to cook, but it literally takes less than 45 minutes to make. One of my favorite things to do is to visit http://www.allrecipes.com and search different recipes that I like at restaurants! Before I became a Vegetarian, I loved the Broccoli-Cheddar Soup from Panera Bread. I soon found out that it contained chicken broth. So, I Googled “how to make broccoli-cheddar soup” and wah-la, allrecipes.com had the deets! So, I bought all of the ingredients, ditched the chicken broth for vegetable broth, and now I’m ready to make it! So, as a challenge to you all, try out the Broccoli-Cheddar soup recipe (http://allrecipes.com/recipe/broccoli-cheese-soup/), post a photo on Instagram or Twitter and tag me in it!
Learning to cook is for everyone, not just women. Men, you should learn to eat healthy as well. Take care of your body. If you have to lead a wife and family one day, you want to ensure that you’ll be around to take care of them. Eat more leafy greens, beans, drink more water and lay off the fast food. We all have a role to play in helping the body of Christ function, so we must be sure that our health is up to par.
(3) Set aside a day and time every week and go on a date with just you and Jesus.
To be quite honest, I used to HATE going places by myself. I always felt the need to be with someone when I went out in public. If a movie came to theaters that I wanted to see, my initial thought was to invite one of my friends to come see it with me. If I wanted to go to a restaurant, it was a MUST that I had company because who eats out alone? Tables are made for two or more, right?
Well, one day I decided to go to a restaurant and movie with Jesus. The first time it was kind of uncomfortable because people stare when you’re eating alone in the physical. But little did they know, I was with someone, they just couldn’t see Him. As I continued to go on dates with Jesus by myself, I became more comfortable. Now, it’s nothing for me to hop in my car and buy a movie ticket for one. Jesus gets in free ;)
Your single years or life are the times in which you get to spend the most time with The Lord. You don’t have distractions that married people have like tending to your spouse, taking care of or leading your home, or if kids are in the equation, taking care of your kids. Granted, some people have been called for a life of singleness and that’s perfectly fine. So was Paul and Jesus and so many others in the Bible. Whether your blueprint reads marriage or singleness, it’s so important to learn to become content in Jesus alone. We should be able to enjoy His company without friends around. Our relationship with Him should be so tight that we can go on dates with Him and not worry about feeling lonely or out of place.
Going on dates with Jesus is also a great opportunity to witness to someone! I get questions all the time about if I’m meeting someone or not when out on dates with JeJe and I just tell people, “I’m on a date with Jesus.” The reactions and responses are priceless and so rewarding. This world, especially other Christians need to hear and see that it is okay to be single, happy and pursuing Jesus like crazy. Oh, and fellas, the dates with Jesus aren’t just for the ladies, but you too. Instead of taking a young lady out on a date or going out with your boys, spend some one on one time with your Savior. He honors it just like He does with His daughters.
I like to get dressed up just like I would for a date with a guy. I do my hair, makeup and put on a nice outfit. Guys, put on a nice button down, jeans and a pair of nice shoes. Ladies, wear your best, but whatever Jesus approves of. I ask Him what I should wear, where we should go and what we should see. It’s awesome to include Jesus in the process from you getting ready down to where you all will go. Being single should never be boring. Spice it up! Even though society says that you have to turn your Valentine’s Day into “Single Awareness Day” or that you have to get into a relationship because your family pressures you to, you don’t. Honor God in your singleness/single life.
(4) Set a curfew for yourself that you will adhere to every night in refraining from communication and company of the opposite sex.
I blogged about this topic before in my blog post, “Single With A Curfew” so I’ll touch on this a little.
One thing we don’t realize is that the habits we form while single, will carry on into relationships. If you’ve been called into a life of singleness, the habits that you form now, can deter you from fulfilling your purpose and cause you to waste time with temporary people. We should be more concerned with talking to Jesus before bed than we should a boo.
If you aren’t married, there is no reason why you should be cuddling with your love interest at 10 o’clock at night or at all for that matter. Christian relationships should honor God, not dishonor Him. If you haven’t paid the price for her body, if his body doesn’t belong to you through marriage, then it belongs to Christ. Therefore you should not be copping feels. Got it? S/he’s your Sister/Brother in Christ FIRST. Remember that.
As far as texting, FaceTiming, Skyping, etc., goes, ask The Lord to give you a curfew to adhere to. You must protect your purity first. Sexual immorality doesn’t just include premarital sex but lust, sexual thoughts, masturbation, pornography and a plethora of other things as well. I am more than confident that God doesn’t want us taking part in things that His Word speaks against. We are responsible not only for ourselves, but those others that we affect as well. Guard your heart and your Brother/Sister’s too as you obey God. We’re all in this together!
(5) For one week straight, switch your secular music to gospel music.
Let me tell you, this makes ALL of the difference in the world. There is just something about allowing your spirit to constantly be filled with worship music. It sets your mind on things above and not below, it helps you to monitor and correct the things that you say out of your mouth, it renews your emotions when they’re in disarray, and most importantly, it allows you to connect with God all throughout the day.
I have not met one person that has ever said that gospel/worship music made them feel sad, made them miss their ex, magnified their problems, caused them to worry, or anything like that. Gospel music does the complete opposite. I promote 100% getting in your “feelings” about Jesus! Haha!
When I listen to worship music, it helps to tighten my bond with my Father and Savior. My worries melt away and I come more in tune with God’s voice. The reason why many of us have such a hard time hearing Him is because we have so many other things clouding our spiritual ear that we cannot decipher whether it’s God talking to us or satan confusing us. Take a week, turn off your secular music and just bask in God’s presence. If you don’t notice a change in your life within that one week, feel free to contact The Holy Spirit regarding all returns.
(6) Go thrifting!
Let me tell you guys, the only time I step foot in the mall is to buy things that you wouldn’t dare purchase second-hand if you catch my drift! Thrifting is so awesome because you get great deals on things you would’ve spent $100 dollars at the mall for. The cool thing about it is that your outfit will be unique. Chances are very slim that you’ll catch someone with the same shirt on as you when you buy from Goodwill, local thrift stores, Salvation Army, Habitat for Humanity, etc.
One fruit of the Spirit that thrifting has taught me is patience. It takes an insurmountable amount of patience to sift through racks or bins of clothing to find something worth purchasing! (Woo! That’s a sermon right there!) There are so many things we must learn patience with. Whether it’s waiting patiently for God to reveal to you your purpose or waiting on a promise to be fulfilled that God spoke to you, we all could use some of it. When you’re believing God to fulfill His plans and will for your life, you’re going to go through some seasons that will really test your patience. What better way to prep than to go shopping, save money and develop a key fruit of The Holy Spirit in one trip?
(7) After spending quiet time with Jesus, don’t move until He’s spoken to you.
I believe this is one of the key reasons why so many Believers feel like God doesn’t speak to them or that they cannot hear His voice. We’re always moving. We put our requests in the microwave, put OUR timer on it, and expect it to be finished cooking when we take it out. That’s the problem. Your food will be cold every single time you put it in the microwave with the mindset and attitude that it will be finished when YOU want it to. God doesn’t work like that.
Many of us miss what God has to say to us because we don’t give Him a chance to speak. How would you feel if a friend told you all of their problems and after they were done, they got up and left, never giving you a chance to speak to them? You guys probably wouldn’t be friends anymore. Give God the opportunity to pour into you. Sit and stay there until He speaks. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want a relationship with someone who pops in and out, never giving me a chance to speak to them. It hurts God too. Let Him download His messages into you. Be still.
(8) Get active and exercise.
Before anyone draws any conclusions, this tip is not to look good for your future bae. This tip is to make sure you are in shape to run this race God has set before all of His children. We can’t eat healthy and not take care of our bodies. It would simply be a waste of time. God needs us to be fit and vigilant. If God has written in your plans to travel one day and do mission work in other countries, He needs to make sure that you can handle it. Your body is a temple and God is looking for well taken care of temples when He assigns purposes. Get active. You don’t have to enter body building competitions or be like Mankofit, however you do need to be able to carry out God’s will for your life.
Even if it’s just 30 minutes a day or a few hours out of the week, get a workout in. Park your car a little farther than normal and walk to it. If you accidentally drop something on your floor, while you’re down there picking it up, do a couple of push-ups. Every little bit counts.
(9) Outside of reading your Bible, pick up a good Christian novel and READ.
I know the Zane books and Fifty Shades of Grey may interest you a little more, but I promise that there are great Christian books and authors out there who can actually stimulate your mind spiritually and not carnally.
Reading the Bible should be the first book we pick up, however, as an aide, there are so many great Christians out there that have dedicated their gift to God. Heather Lindsey, Karolyne Roberts, and Jennifer Lucy Tyler are just a few! If you click on their names, it will direct you to their websites where you can find their books!
Two great books I’ve read by Christian writers is, “Lady In Waiting” by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones, “Authentic Beauty” by Leslie Ludy! You should definitely check them out if you are a lady!
For my fellas, I would recommend Cornelius Lindsey’s books and also his blog! That man has a GIFT! If you click the links, they’ll take you to where you can go to purchase his books and access his website/blog!
(10) Seek your purpose continually asking The Lord to reveal to you His plans for your life.
Nothing on this earth is more important than knowing why God put you here and what He wants you to do with the life that He’s given you. No relationship, husband or wife, job, education, etc., is more important than that.
Many people ask me how do you find your purpose. Well, everyone is different, however God usually places it within our passions that glorify Him or can be used to glorify Him if done properly. I LOVE speaking to people, I love sharing Jesus, I love singing, I love photography and a plethora of other things. Those are my passions. God has used every single one of those things as a way for me to glorify Him. Every day He shows me something new about myself that I didn’t know. Through those passions He’s given me, I’ve been able to successfully become a Christian blogger, develop two businesses, participate in speaking engagements, and so many other things. My life wasn’t always like this. For awhile I didn’t know what exactly I was supposed to do with my life. But after seeking God constantly and showing Him that He could trust me, He in turn trusted me with more and more. For that, I am ever indebted to Him, to be used by Him for His glory alone.
Starting November 1st, I will be going on a month long fast from social media and a few other things to really hear God’s voice on a huge life-changing decision I am going to make if He says yes. I will post more details about it as November gets closer, however, I want to invite each and every one of you to participate. I believe that you are believing God for something, for closure, for guidance, for direction, for faith. It’ll be long and hard, but I believe that by taking a month away from social media and whatever else The Lord places on your heart to give up for that month, you will grow so much closer to Him and receive so much clarity on those foggy areas of your life.
So, we will be seeking Him together and if you’re still unsure of your purpose or what direction you should be going in, this will be the perfect time to do just that.