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From the view of a 20-something dream chaser.

Journey to a Husband: Servanthood

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Photo via @lauralacquer

Marriage isn't guaranteed for anyone. I want to start there. But if we have the desire for marriage, there is plenty we can do right now as single women to prepare for that season. As we tackle the topic Journey to a Husband, I thought it only fitting to follow honor with service. Service can be anything! But I've learned it's especially the little things.

When I was little and my father would mow the lawn on a hot summer day, my mom would ask me to help fix him a glass of ice cold water. (And by "help," I mean she'd pass it off to me so she could get other things done.) We'd time it perfectly. As he'd kill the engine and begin walking towards the house, I'd run from the kitchen and out the back door to meet him on the porch with a glass almost as big as my grin. “Thanks, Sweet!” he'd say. In the winter after a long day at the office, he'd call to say he was on his way home and she'd tell me to run upstairs and turn the small heater on in the bathroom. This way, it would be warm when he went to shower. (They have big windows in theirs so it gets super cold in winter.)

My sister (by marriage) keeps her cupboard stocked with my brother’s favorite snacks. He is especially fond of fruit snacks, so before heading out, she tosses a few in her purse. (Of course, I always get the pack or two I'm due as the little sister.) My other sister always plays a key role in the hilarious videos my brother makes and shares with our family. Sometimes she records them, other times she becomes an actress. The fact that she goes along with his crazy schemes never ceases to amaze me. Like she stay ready. But I guess that's how you gotta be.

From my mother and sisters, I began to learn what it means to serve a husband. To this day, I'm still learning the meaning of it. I never thought these actions were teaching me about servanthood and that they'd apply to how I treat my future husband, but it's all beginning to make sense now. It's up to me to learn how best to serve my husband based on who we both are. Maybe your husband won't like fruit snacks. Maybe you'll decide to hire someone for your lawn beautification. Your husband could be camera shy. How one woman serves her husband isn't necessarily how everyone will or should. A sister of mine from church said she looks forward to making sure her husband's clothes are ironed before he leaves the house each day. Some women get this sick pleasure out of cooking for and feeding their husbands (largely still lost upon me). I imagine myself helping my future husband build a ministry, write any and everything, mentor youth and find solutions to things. One day--you know, when I actually know him--I'll have a better idea how I can best serve him. Until then, I'm learning to do what I can where I am.

I've heard it said that in marriage we are to find ways to out-serve the other. That requires us to do our part. We as women are called to be helpmeets. It was not good for man to be alone so God created woman (Genesis 2:18). (That verse does something to me every time.) We are prizes, bonuses. We make their lives better, more fun and fabulous! This isn't something to get puffed up over, but an identity to fully own and walk in. I believe that if we find ways to serve those around us now, it will come all the more easily in our future marriages. We can hop on dish duty after dinner at a friend’s. We can volunteer our time and talents in our communities. We can offer to babysit for the new parents who may be overdue a date night. Service can seem so ordinary and inconsequential, but its effects can be felt for years. A heart willing to serve makes life deleesh.

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