Lost Generation

This video was showed in one of the last classes I took at George Mason and I seize every opportunity to share it. Without a doubt, you'll enjoy it. Not only that, but it will make you think. So think! And do.

Chase Dreams, Not Boys

I'm trying to get my life on track. Who isn't? And since I love to read, I've recently begun keeping up with the following blogs. A friend of mine put me on to the first one on dating in the Christian world; and although she borders on vanity in some posts, I rather agree with most of what Heather Lindsey says on her blog.

A former Miss America posted a link to this blog post, The Christmas Conundrum, about the true meaning of Christmas. After reading it, I thought becoming a regular follower could only enrich my life. What I loved most from that particular post was this gift-giving policy the author and her husband put in place for their children:

Something you want
Something you need
Something to wear
Something to read

And that's it. Can I just tell you how much I love that? And she and her husband don't exchange gifts for Christmas at all. I fully support this. And someday, when I have a family of my own, I want to adopt this policy. The season just means so much more and I want it to continue to for years and years to come.

Finally, I discovered Smart, Pretty & Awkward a few months ago and I check in every so often for a little inspiration. I find it can be well-received by both men and women, but the target audience is most certainly women. Otherwise, they need a new marketing strategy that doesn't involve a girly layout, font and colors. And you can't really tell a man how to be prettier, can you? But anywho, it offers tips on how to be smarter, prettier and less awkward. Really, great stuff.

So I shared all this with you to say I love being a woman. Furthermore, I love being a lady. And I doubt anyone would disagree that we need more of them today. These women have enriched my life and the lives of several thousand women through their blogs. They've shown me that there are other women out there (besides my friends and me) who still have conventional values when it comes to living life, being a woman and serving the Lord. I hope my own blog does that for other women out there like me.

I'll get to my point now. My rage began with a photo on Instagram. It read:

"Dating in the 21st Century is by far one of the most ridiculous processes ever. People are so complicated. You must play games. You must lie. You have to act like you don't care even if you do. You must date multiple people to keep the attention of that one because it's generally just casual. You must be unavailable. If you're too available, people get turned off. You have to ignore calls even if you want to pick up. Essentially, if you're a true lover, you have to resist everything that comes natural to you and play this f*cking "game" you f*cking idiots love to play. It changes everything for to pretend like I don't care. I actually stop giving a f*ck."

Minus the expletives, yeah...pretty much. I really don't get it. Oh, but then again, I do.

I came across this article posted in the New York Times and realized why. From my understanding, the Gaggle founders condone a lifestyle of hookups and the lowering of standards simply because times have changed. They say use every man in your life to find love. Umm maybe I just read what I wanted to read, but the founders say that since times have changed, dating also should change. Ok, but men and women haven't. Not really. Find me a woman who will tell you she doesn't want a fairytale romance, that she doesn't want to be pursued as if she's the only woman in the world, that in the end, that what she really wants is a slew of meaningless relationships with men who foresee no future with her, and I'll show you a woman in denial.

And find me a man who won't go as far as a woman will let him just because he wants to be a gentleman and I'll show you my collection of chick flicks via websites that allow me to watch them free.

I think we've forgotten that we possess the lucky charm. And forgetting that is what's gotten us into the mess we're currently in. I'm not saying we women don't need to change our ways, because we do. But we absolutely do not need to lower our standards. Ever. I'm a firm believer that the right guy will rise to meet them. And if he doesn't, then obviously he wasn't/isn't Mr. Right.

If no one is behaving as a lady should, surely no one will behave as a gentleman should. Excuse me while I channel my inner Meek Mill and Wale: These men be actin' up and we women be lettin' em. Don't let em. Dare to be different and to set yourself apart from every other run-of-the mill, Instagram-model, ambitionless woman who says she's waiting on Mr. Right. She'll be waiting a long time. Shoot, I may be waiting a long time, myself, and I'm none of the above.

A couple weeks ago a friend of mine asked if I moved to New York to find love, like on Sex and the City. I said, "Of course not!" I actually couldn't believe that was a real question, but hey...you never know. On her blog, Heather Lindsey (the first blog I posted) said that Eve didn't go looking for her Adam. He woke up and found her. I have no choice but to believe that's not how it will happen. I'm not saying align yourself with the likes of any Disney princess or other damsel in distress that we loved throughout our childhood, but do something that matters with your life. Meet new people. Go out on dates and allow men to wine and dine you. Because they should. You are beautiful and you deserve nothing but the best. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

So in honor of the first birthday of an organization I joined during undergrad of the same name chase dreams, not boys. Visit the Chase Dreams, Not Boys website and get involved in any way you can.

I am chasing my dreams. How can that not be what dreams are made of?

Furnish a Room on a Budget

I moved to New York in September. It is now December and the furnishing of my room is finally complete. And guess what: I did it all on a budget! You should be proud. I always start with these huge ideas and I keep at it until it becomes a reality. That's what happened with my room. At first, all I knew was that I wanted it to be classy. Well, of course. This is me we're talking about here. But there had to be something more...

Black and white have been my favorite colors for quite some time because I think they are just the epitome of class, so that was the "theme" I gave my bedroom. I shopped around and rummaged through my parents' home in Virginia until it all came together. I can't take credit for it all, because my mother helped me quite a lot. Her design sense (and cents) is incredible and I couldn't have done it without her. I know they say bedrooms are intimate and blah blah blah but I'm an open person and I like to share. Plus, the vast majority of you reading this will probably not get the chance to see it in the flesh anyway. So here go the photos. Enjoy! And if you have any questions, please do ask!

Dresser - Craigslist, came with a chest of drawers for $160 total

Headboard - Groupon, $80

Mattress and box spring - Ashley Furniture, originally $2500, got it for $750

Comforter - Target, $19.99

Yellow pillows - Target, $14.99ea.

Black and white pillow - IKEA, $12.99

Desk - IKEA, $119

Desk chair - Mom found it at a beauty shop, $20

Curtains - Walmart, $14.99

Rug - Walmart, $39.99

Floor lamp - IKEA, $19.99

Audrey Hepburn wall decor - gifted from a close friend

As you can see, I didn't really splurge on anything except my mattress (and boy, let me tell ya, it was worth it!). It didn't come together all at once, but it came together quite beautifully, if I do say so myself.  It's my own little corner and I adore it. This is what dreams are made of.

P.S. I'll do a post on my living room another time.

10 Things I Love About My Internship

One thing is certain: when you're an intern, you have to work twice as hard to do everyone's grunt work in the office and still somehow manage to get valuable experience, make connections and contacts and get maximum exposure for your work. And let me tell ya, it ain't easy. I spend most of my days...dun dun dun...doing mailings. That means I'm tasked with packaging and mailing books to bloggers, TV and radio show hosts and the likes all across the country, in hopes that they will review said book on their blog/website/show. It isn't always easy, but I actually don't mind it that much. I'm just being dramatic.

And since my time at Simon & Schuster is drawing to a close at the end of this month, and it's nearly Thanksgiving, I figured it might be a good idea to think back on all the things I've loved about working there.

10. Everyone's door is always open. Literally. From the senior vice presidents to the senior publicists to the directors of marketing, not a single door is closed. That was the first thing I noticed on Day 1. And since I love to ask questions, I've continually taken advantage of this. It's a great way to meet people. And to learn.

9. I'm never counting down the hours (or minutes) until I get off. That's because they keep me busy. Remember how I mentioned mailings earlier? I've sent as many as 500 in a single day. And that's just for one book. Crazy, right? But in addition to those darn mailings, I'm also able to research trends in readership based on a certain author's audience and write press releases to send out to the media.

8. It's at Rockefeller Center! I know this has nothing to do with the work I do, but being at a great location boosts your morale, in a way. Plus, it adds to the cultural experience of living in NYC. If you aren't really sure what Rockefeller Center in all its grandeur is, check out the link I posted. When I don't pack my lunch (which should never, ever happen, given I'm on a strict budget), I venture down to the underground concourse and choose from a wide selection of restaurants. Outside my building, there are also great places to shop, like H&M and J.Crew. I try my best to stay in the building. Oh! And once I get on the train in the mornings, I don't even have to go back outside to get to work. I just take the escalator all the way. This especially comes in handy on super cold, rainy or snowy days. And I've experienced all of them in my short time here.

7. Speaking of Rockefeller Center, the discounts! Just by being an "employee" of Rockefeller Center, I was privy to early-bird discounted tickets to see...wait for it...THE RADIO CITY CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR! It really doesn't get much better than this. When I first saw the ads, I thought Dear Lord, please see to it that I am in the number to see those glorious Radio City Rockettes this Christmas season. Then I went online to view ticket prices and my mouth dropped: dream was too shattered. But won't the good Lord make way? He ain't nothing but the dag on truth. He may not come when you want Him, but golly He's right on time. And I thank Him.

6. My co-workers are awesome. I mainly work with a cool chick named Jill. She's just as preppy and chipper as I am, so we get along great. She used to work as a production assistant for CBS before she switched over to publishing and I've learned so much from her about what it's like working in both industries. And my other co-workers are equally amazing and accomplished in their fields. And they always thank me and tell me how much they appreciate my help. It's inspiring to hear stories about their careers and lives because someday when I have an intern, that will be me.

5. I'm able to learn a lot about the entire publishing process and not just the publicity aspect of. So much goes into writing and publishing a book from start to finish! You have no idea. And then to get it placed in exactly the right mediums is an art of its own.

4. Sometimes, I get to work on top-secret projects that I can't talk about because they haven't been revealed yet. Who wouldn't feel special with that kind of knowledge?

3. There's a "Brown Bag Lunch & Learn" every week. All the interns from across the company come together for lunch with full-time employees of the company. One week, my own boss, the publicity director for our imprint was a guest. Another week, a senior editor was. They are always open to the many questions we interns have and it's amazing to see how so many of them had no interest in book publishing, yet here they are.

2. FREE BOOKS! I debated whether this should be my number one reason, just because I love books so much. Books can take you to places near and far, past and present. I love that. And I love how I'm able to expand my mind and views on things like politics (currently reading 50 Things Liberals Love to Hate by Mike Gallagher) and cooking (just finished Angelina's Bachelor's: A Novel with Food by Brian O'Reilly) and even poverty (also read An Angry-Ass Black Woman by Karen E. Quinones Miller). And I don't have to beg for an endless supply of Barnes & Noble gift cards in order to do it.

1. I enjoy getting out of bed each morning to go to the office. That's what's most important, right? If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. As I set out to find a full-time job in the coming months, it is my hope that this feeling remains.

This place has truly been what dreams are made of and I am going to miss it so much.

The Jar of Life

I wish I could take credit for this, but I cannot. I stole it. But I thought you'd enjoy it.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class ...

began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was
Full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full..

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car..

The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

'If you put
The sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children.

Spend time with your parents.

Visit with grandparents.

Take your spouse out to dinner.

Play another 18.

There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.

The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

Adulthood

I was invited to be the honored guest at the Matoaca Fall Festival this weekend.
That's right, little old me, an honored guest.

Right now, I'm curled up on a northbound Amtrak train, new book courtesy of Simon & Schuster in hand. I am homebound (New York home, that is) after a weekend in Virginia filled with time for community service, family and friends. It has dawned on me that I am now an adult. Sigh. Gone are the days when a trip to Forever 21 or H&M didn't require much thought before proceeding. I turn off lights as soon as I realize I no longer need their source. And I don't send my clothes to the cleaners nearly as often as I used to. In essence, I've learned (or am learning) to conserve.

My princess, Abigail, and me with some local heroes

Flowers with Style so graciously gave each of us a bouquet

You would be right to assume my parents have taken care of me the past 22+ years. Sure, I spent my undergraduate years two whole hours away from home and worked part-time jobs and had to do my own laundry; but I was still largely dependent on my parents for financial support throughout those years. I didn't have a want or need for a budget then. Boy, do I now!

I am now at least seven hours away from their tender loving care and having a ball, while they worry night and day. Yes, my father actually said that this weekend. Since I moved to New York about a month ago, I paid my own rent, cable and electric bill, and sent my laundry out. (Ok, maybe I'm a little bougie for sending my laundry out, but it's so convenient and it really didn't set me back much at all.) I've even managed to excel in all my classes thus far and I'm beginning to find myself in this city I now call home. So I am happy. And I am blessed. Very.

I have become very practical and sensible in the past few weeks. I guess it comes with the territory. Having a Zara practically next door to my campus and a J. Crew around the corner from my internship doesn't help much, but I've learned that if I don't walk in the door, I won't spend a single cent. I just have to ensure I don't walk in those revolving doors. You wouldn't believe how hard a thing that is not to do. I like to spend just as much as the next girl, but I've realized I just cannot spend freely or there will be severe consequences.

What I would so desperately like to spend my money on freely:

• Dresses (long-sleeved, peplum, LBD, you name it);
• Pumps (actually on the lookout for a nice, black patent leather pair at the moment);
• Wine (future connoisseur);
• Broadway shows (I'm in NEW YORK CITY!);
• Dominican blowouts (I whip my hair back and forth);
• Fancy events (what kind? you may ask. I'm not sure, but ones you must dress up to attend)
• Manicures & pedicures (even full-body massages); and
• Groupons (for the aforementioned items, of course...and getaways)

What I am instead forced to spend money on:

• Food (a very odd thing, but my body requires I consume it every day)
• Rent (a killer, especially here in NYC)
• Cable (a necessary evil if I am to keep up with what's going on in the world; oh, and watch movies)
• Electric bill (Fridge, among other things, wouldn't work without it)
• Subway pass (and I'm actually saving money by purchasing an unlimited monthly pass for $100)

Needless to say, there exists a very real need to conserve, to save money any and every way possible. I read this article, which talks about the importance of having a budget and sticking to it in order to reach your goals, and I have since strived to have as many $0 Days as possible. Believe you me, it's no easy task. And you can't dwell on achieving it. But when you do, boy is it thrilling!

Keeping track of your daily spending enables you to have a record of exactly where your money is going. I feel empowered knowing there is a plan for what little money I have. Sticking to it will only enable me further, because I can save up for my first big purchase. I have yet to decide what that is, but something tells me it will be something very practical--like paying off my student loans--and not something fierce, like buying my first Mercedes. But someday I will, and that's what dreams are made of.

And this.

30 Things...

Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30
By Glamour Magazine

Ok so I've yet to even reach my mid-20s, but I came across this list and found it to be great for self-reflection and evaluation, no matter what age you are. I like to take time to think about what I'm really doing here on earth and I figured I'm not the only one. Sometimes your life, relationships and career and personal goals need some revamping. This might help.
By 30, you should have:
One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
A youth you’re content to move beyond.
A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.
A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you
deserve it.
The belief that you deserve it.
A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know:
How to fall in love without losing yourself.
How you feel about having kids.
How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
When to try harder and when to walk away.
How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
How to take control of your own birthday.
That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
Why they say life begins at 30.

Someday when I'm 30, I hope to have and know each of the articles on this list. And I hope that my life will still be what dreams are made of.