Journey to a Husband: Servanthood

Photo via @lauralacquer

Marriage isn't guaranteed for anyone. I want to start there. But if we have the desire for marriage, there is plenty we can do right now as single women to prepare for that season. As we tackle the topic Journey to a Husband, I thought it only fitting to follow honor with service. Service can be anything! But I've learned it's especially the little things.

The Single Life: Why I'm Not Dating

Hi, my name is Delesia and I’m addicted to men. 

*Hiiiii, Dele--wait, say what, girl?*

I know, I know. I probably don’t seem like I have an addiction, because it's often so easy to cover them up. I'm able to hide it so well because it’s mostly internal and during my talks with God. But it’s real. On the inside, I’m a mess. 

Life After

I wanted so badly to become Miss America. I spent five years competing at the local and state level because I have always felt my life is about making a difference in the lives of others. I wanted the Miss America platform to help me do it nationwide. Without a doubt, I know I would have made a great Miss America, but I didn't win a state title. Now, after "aging out," I never will. One of my deepest but unuttered fears was that this day would come and I would have to say that to myself. Here it is. And I'm ok. I am still alive and able to do great work in this world. I never needed a crown for that and I still don't.

So let me say this: it takes guts to compete for Miss Virginia and Miss New York. The process of self-awareness, growth and vulnerability that you endure as a contestant is quite unlike anything else I have ever experienced. And I loved every minute of it. It takes heart to walk into a room full of strangers waiting to fire a series of questions your way and be unequivocally you. You dodge controversial and loaded questions, sometimes with ease and grace, but sometimes you get stumped. Sometimes, you don't know the answer or can't think quickly enough on your feet. Sometimes your wit or humor doesn't come across as you planned. Sometimes even the very words that seemed to make sense in your brain roll off your tongue and even you don't know what they mean. But you remember that you are human and that's what happens to humans: we make mistakes.

But dreaming of becoming and competing for Miss America was not one. I wouldn't trade my experiences, self-growth or the lifelong friendships I made for anything in this world. I am who I am today because of the Miss America Organization, whether directly or indirectly. Only one young woman can win on a given night and whether my record in pageantry indicates it or not, I "won" more often than not. I am and will always be a winner.

My contentment has prepared me for what I call Life After. Until now, there has always been the possibility that someday I could be Miss America. There was also the possibility that someday I wouldn't. So I promised myself long ago that I would never put my life on hold or pass up incredible opportunities to win. Sure, I made sacrifices. I sacrificed my time more than anything and that's something I will never get back--the brunches, family get-togethers, Girls Nights and other events I missed. Looking back, it was worth it. And Lord willing, there will be more. My whole life is before me. I now never have to wonder What if? and that gives me more peace than you may imagine.

This fall, I will complete my master's degree at New York University. At this very moment I am taking a break from applying to full-time jobs to write this blog post. This summer has and I believe will continue to be my best yet. I have the best friends and family I could ever ask for. I have good health, a sound mind and an able body. In short, I am blessed. So here's to Life After. It's what dreams are made of.

Peace

I Wish You Enough

When do I sleep, you ask? Well, I don't. I can sleep when I die. That brings me to my point of inspiration for this post...

I came across a shared photo on Facebook with a story about an ailing mother and her daughter saying goodbye to one another after a visit. As the mother was very ill, she figured that would be the last moment the two of them would spend together. They said to each other, "I wish you enough," which a stranger overheard. Later in the story, the stranger would ask the mother what that meant. The mother shared the following, which had been passed down from generation to generation in their family:

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. 

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

This was such an incredible passage. A friend of mine once told me he only eats until he is satisfied, at which point he has had enough. A lot of times in life, we want it all, we want it now, and as a result, we become greedy. Instead, we should wish for simply enough. After all, it is enough. Adequate, efficient. 

Why do we insist on having everything we can get our hands on, instead of what will suffice. Too much of anything is no good, they say. So why do we want it all? Why isn't enough enough? It should be. Starting today, I am striving for enough.

So I wish you enough. Because that's what dreams are made of.

Lost Generation

This video was showed in one of the last classes I took at George Mason and I seize every opportunity to share it. Without a doubt, you'll enjoy it. Not only that, but it will make you think. So think! And do.