Take Your Time

Me with my parents (to my right) and my aunt

Death is an odd thing, really. People are here one day, then gone the next. And the same will happen to each of us one day. Songs will be sung (“I’ll Fly Away,” if you’re in the South), kind words spoken by people who knew you best, flowers and cards given to your survivors, a repast held back at the church...and then everyone will go home. Some will remember you. Some will miss you. Some won’t. It can really shake you if you think about it long enough, which I happen to do from time to time.

Journey to a Husband: Servanthood

Photo via @lauralacquer

Marriage isn't guaranteed for anyone. I want to start there. But if we have the desire for marriage, there is plenty we can do right now as single women to prepare for that season. As we tackle the topic Journey to a Husband, I thought it only fitting to follow honor with service. Service can be anything! But I've learned it's especially the little things.

Musings on Modesty

Taken at my first CURVEXPO with Nubian Skin in February

If you follow me on social media, then it will come as no surprise that I’ve had quite a few conversations about modesty the past couple days. Six months ago, I had a really cool opportunity to model for Nubian Skin at the New York CURVEXPO. I left feeling so inspired. (You can read about my first experience here.) A couple weeks ago, they reached out to see if I could help out again. Of course! This week, I went back and learned so much more about boobs, bras, beauty and business. The company is a startup, so I got to work directly with the founder. I picked her brain on all things concerning beauty, boobs and business. She was even so generous to let me offer another giveaway to the like...ten people who follow me. To announce this, I posted a photo of myself in lingerie on my Facebook. (You probably gotta be my Facebook friend to see that.) There’s also a back shot on Instagram that I posted just for fun. And then came the onslaught of texts and phone convos...

The Devil is in the Waiting

Waiting is hard. Whether it's for a ride at the amusement park, your next paycheck or a friend running late for dinner, waiting requires a certain level of patience. I always thought I had it. Apparently, I don't.

The Single Life: Why I'm Not Dating

Hi, my name is Delesia and I’m addicted to men. 

*Hiiiii, Dele--wait, say what, girl?*

I know, I know. I probably don’t seem like I have an addiction, because it's often so easy to cover them up. I'm able to hide it so well because it’s mostly internal and during my talks with God. But it’s real. On the inside, I’m a mess. 

The Husband List: An Update

Photo via Legacy Event Planning

I first wrote this post about a year ago. A girlfriend and I had read former Miss USA Kristen Dalton Wolfe's The Husband List: 12 Non-Negotiables and were inspired to draft lists of our own. Since that time, I have experienced more spiritual and personal growth than I could have ever imagined. I was recently invited to share this post on the Courtship vs. Dating blog as a guest blogger and thought it fitting to update it to reflect who I am now.

Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman

Not long ago, a good friend of mine sent me a video and it really spoke to me as an unabashedly ambitious young woman who is grounded. And single. It begins, "So it seemed that it was cool for everyone to be in a relationship but me. So I took matters into my own hands and ended up with him." Umm DING DING DING! Story of MY life, as well as the lives of just about every girlfriend of mine. I didn't know where this girl was going with her spoken word, but I knew I needed to heed whatever Word she was bringing forth straight from the Lord Himself, it seemed. And at the end, my soul was truly blessed.

You see, people often ask me why I'm single. How on earth should I know? is my first thought. Then I think back on my past relationships and the many guys who just weren't "ready" for me at the time. They wanted to put me on layaway, in a sense. I also think of the good guys I let slip through my fingers because...well, I don't really know why, honestly. I just know it happened somehow. Maybe it's because good girls like bad guys... In the end, I usually tell whoever is asking that I'm just too busy--which certainly isn't a lie if you know me--but we all know we women make time for men we care about no matter what. We are the greatest multi-taskers of all time, and that's why it frustrates us when people (men) say they don't have time for us.

But I think it's all about who we attract and how much "time of day," as my parents say, we give them. In the video, the artist says, "I called 911 but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting because it was me who let him in." She's so right! When we try to take a man and make him The One, we're the ones responsible, in the end. If we aren't open and honest about our wants, needs and boundaries up front, we have no one to blame but ourselves. But this doesn't have to be.

Many women I know say they already are or are striving to become Proverbs 31 women, but I see few taking the actions necessary to become one. I decided to do just that and I implore all women to do the same. I ordered "She is...Devotional," a book of 22 daily devotionals to help women of all ages become Proverbs 31 women. Each day begins, "She is..." One of my favorites is: "She is COMPASSION. She keeps her arms outstretched to those who need help." If that doesn't sound like the perfect woman, I don't know what does. And the best part is that each day comes complete with a prayer.

Being a Proverbs 31 woman is like being a lady or being intelligent or having confidence: it isn't spoken, it's exuded. She is imperturbable. She is fearless. She is clothed in royalty. She is humble.

For me, becoming a Proverbs 31 woman is what dreams are made of. So to my future husband, "I will be the one drenched in Proverbs 31, waiting for you."

Check out the video below. It might change your life.