Journey to a Husband: Honor

Photo via @drephoto3 

It's no secret that many single women desire marriage. We daydream about our future husbands and create lists about our non-negotiables. We fill our Pinterest boards with wedding decor and ring styles and gown designs. But we still may not be ready for the kind of relationship that leads to a healthy marriage. We can get ready, though. Obviously, I'm no expert--I've never been married. In fact,  I gave up dating for a year. That year is up and while I'm still not quite dating, I felt inspired to write about the wisdom about relationships and marriage I've acquired. I'll call it Journey to a Husband. This is the first installment.

Fast Five

Photo via blackgirlhealth.com

I bet the woman described in Proverbs 31 was a neat freak. She likely coined the phrase "a place for everything and everything in its place." She's the type of woman that you could stop by unannounced and the smell of ocean breeze consumes you as she opens the front door. She greets you with a smile and welcomes you to join her in the kitchen where she's preparing the most delicious meal ever as light music plays. At the sight of fresh lemonade on the counter, your mouth waters. You figure There's no way she can be this perfect, so you ask to use the restroom and secretly snoop--only to find that to your horror, there isn't a speck of dust on even the tallest shelf.

Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman

Not long ago, a good friend of mine sent me a video and it really spoke to me as an unabashedly ambitious young woman who is grounded. And single. It begins, "So it seemed that it was cool for everyone to be in a relationship but me. So I took matters into my own hands and ended up with him." Umm DING DING DING! Story of MY life, as well as the lives of just about every girlfriend of mine. I didn't know where this girl was going with her spoken word, but I knew I needed to heed whatever Word she was bringing forth straight from the Lord Himself, it seemed. And at the end, my soul was truly blessed.

You see, people often ask me why I'm single. How on earth should I know? is my first thought. Then I think back on my past relationships and the many guys who just weren't "ready" for me at the time. They wanted to put me on layaway, in a sense. I also think of the good guys I let slip through my fingers because...well, I don't really know why, honestly. I just know it happened somehow. Maybe it's because good girls like bad guys... In the end, I usually tell whoever is asking that I'm just too busy--which certainly isn't a lie if you know me--but we all know we women make time for men we care about no matter what. We are the greatest multi-taskers of all time, and that's why it frustrates us when people (men) say they don't have time for us.

But I think it's all about who we attract and how much "time of day," as my parents say, we give them. In the video, the artist says, "I called 911 but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting because it was me who let him in." She's so right! When we try to take a man and make him The One, we're the ones responsible, in the end. If we aren't open and honest about our wants, needs and boundaries up front, we have no one to blame but ourselves. But this doesn't have to be.

Many women I know say they already are or are striving to become Proverbs 31 women, but I see few taking the actions necessary to become one. I decided to do just that and I implore all women to do the same. I ordered "She is...Devotional," a book of 22 daily devotionals to help women of all ages become Proverbs 31 women. Each day begins, "She is..." One of my favorites is: "She is COMPASSION. She keeps her arms outstretched to those who need help." If that doesn't sound like the perfect woman, I don't know what does. And the best part is that each day comes complete with a prayer.

Being a Proverbs 31 woman is like being a lady or being intelligent or having confidence: it isn't spoken, it's exuded. She is imperturbable. She is fearless. She is clothed in royalty. She is humble.

For me, becoming a Proverbs 31 woman is what dreams are made of. So to my future husband, "I will be the one drenched in Proverbs 31, waiting for you."

Check out the video below. It might change your life.